NEWS WIRE...
BUSINESS
Fed Lends AIG Another $150 Billion
For next weekend's junket to Cabo.

Big Three widget makers demand bailout.
Consumer Spending on Widgets hits New Low

Could Be Worst Christmas Ever, Fear retailers
Destitute Santas line up to sell their blood.

Monks Brawl at Holy Site in Jerusalem
Rematch scheduled for Vatican.

Harvard University to Cut Spending
Will return to training Puritan ministers

Bush Flooded With Pardon Requests
Many in his own handwriting.