These Just in from Jimmy D!!!

THE CHEEKTOWAGA EYE EXAM
This kid from Cheetowaga turns 16 and goes to the NY
State Department of
Motor Vehicles to apply for a permit. He is told he
has to take an eye test.
The examiner shows him a card with the letters:
C Z J W I X N O S T A C Z
Can you read this?' the examiner asks.
'Read it?' the young man replies,
'He's my uncle.'

NEWLYWEDS

Three newly-married men were sitting together bragging
about how they had given their new wives duties.

The first man had married a woman from Nashville and
bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and
house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he
came home to a clean house and the dishes were done.

The second man had married a woman from Miami . He
bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the
cleaning, dishes and the cooking. On that the first day he didn't see any
results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was
clean, the dishes were done and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man married a girl from Buffalo . He boasted
that he told her that her duties were to keep the house clean, dishes
washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every
meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day
he didn't see anything but by the third day most of the swelling had gone
down and he could see a little out of his left eye; enough to fix himself a
bite to eat, load the dishwasher and telephone a landscaper.