From Paul Haefner Jr!!
..so this guy shows up at the Pearly Gates, and St. Peter says, "Well, what have you done in your life to deserve to get into heaven?".
The guy says, "Well, I confronted a group of bikers who had a young woman surrounded and were harassing her. I yelled at them to leave her alone, but they ignored me, so I walked up to the biggest, ugliest one and ripped the nose ring right out of his nose, and yelled 'leave that woman alone!'".
St. Peter says, "Wow, that IS impressive! When did this happen?"
"about 5 minutes ago".