Green-Clad Olympic Archer Steals Gold Medals From Rich, Gives Them To Poor
BEIJING—Chinese Olympic officials say they are no closer to catching the swashbuckling, green-uniformed archery competitor who has disrupted every single medal ceremony of the Games by bursting in, stealing the gold medal or medals in the name of the poor in an archery-related fashion, striking a triumphant pose, and then disappearing without a trace.
BEIJING—With just two hundredths of a second to spare, American charioteer Hank Fowler shocked those gathered in the Beijing Hippodrome Wednesday by breaking the four-horse chariot race world record of 5:34.57 set by Perseus in 492 B.C. "I didn't do anything different for this race—I just told myself to go hard right when the Bronze Eagle was raised, make smooth but tight late-apex turns around the embolons, and use the bronze blades on the wheels to kill anyone who got in my way," sad Fowler, adding that it wasn't until the eighth lap of the 12-lap tethrippon that the possibility of breaking Perseus' long-standing mark entered his mind. "When I was heading back west after the final turn around the eastern embolon and I saw people in the Hippodrome rise to their feet, I knew something special was happening."
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