Time now for:
'Stop you're killing me'!
From Paul Haefner Jr.

A duck hunter was out enjoying a nice morning on the marsh when he decided to take a leak. He walked over to a tree, and propped up his gun. A gust of wind blew the gun over, and it discharged, shooting him in the genitals.

Several hours later, lying in the hospital bed, he was approached by his doctor.

"Well, sir, I have some good news and some bad news. The good news is that you are going to be ok, the damage was local to your groin, there was very little internal damage, and we were able to remove all the buckshot. The bad news is that there was some pretty extensive damage to your penis. I'm going to have to refer you to my brother."

"Wow!! Well, I guess it could have been worse" the man replied. "is your brother a plastic surgeon?"

"No, he's a flute player. He's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't piss in your eye."